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June 4th, 2009

01:27 pm: I'm done;
 This journal is closed. Buh bye now.

May 21st, 2009

11:47 am: You've got a friend;
I come running
To see you again

It'd be really nice to all get together at least once during the summer. Tonight could be the night. Fiiind your id, gawd. You ARE 18. You CAN go to the bar.

Ah. To have a boyfriend younger than oneself. *sigh* :P

May 16th, 2009

09:38 pm: In my head -
 Ugh, I feel sick.

I ate, like, 4 coconut macaroons. The ones I made. It's nice that I'm getting good at making desserts, but it also sucks because I'm starting to like what I make. I had already eaten a waffle and some raspberries. And supper. Ugh, so full. And drowsy.

I work tomorrow, which is nice, I think. I don,t really feel like it, only because I really wanted to see you today, but I guess you had other plans in mind. I'm afraid I'll appear as an obsessed girlfriend if I ask to see you too much, when technically we aren't dating... how I wish we were, though. And why not?

May 11th, 2009

09:50 pm: It's tearing me apart
 Tomorrow's the last day of school, and the Springfest. Now, apparently, this is a big deal. All the guys are going, and I was told that even some kids from Dawson and Vanier are going to be coming for it as well "because we're the only ones who have the campus for it!" Hmm. 
I made banana-chocolate chip muffins, healthy ones too - although not as healthy as they could have been, I used skim milk instead of soy milk, and 2 eggs instead of 4 egg whites, but only because I only had 3 eggs left! but no butter, oil, anything - and I'm bringing them to school tomorrow. I think they're the finest creation of mine yet. Thanks for the recipe, Nicole.

I'm thinking of sticking a Post-It under one of the muffins, one that says: "I don't know why, but if it were up to me, we'd be more than friends". I already wrote it out. I know the brave thing to do would be to just say it, but if I leave it up to that, I'm pretty sure I'll chicken out, big time. I wish I were more confident about it all, but I'm not. It's odd, you'd think after several offers that my self-esteem would be up. But no, I'm still as shy and unsure. It's because I really really expect him to be the one to make a move. It's what I hope, every day.
I'd hand him the muffin, with the note under it, and smile. And run. Haha.

Tomorrow's Illustrator class is the last one, officially. So the Summer Without Scissors will begin. I'm a look like a hippy by September, yay.

Current Music: Promises - The Cranberries

May 3rd, 2009

09:14 pm: I'm the Ice Queen
 I think I'll become like that girl at school - the pretty one that looks like a doll but seems as cold as one - because it just seems easier that way. She was really nice to me at the Café Suprême today, though. 

Thank God for long shifts, nights alone and music. And jellybeans, they save a girl's life and spirit. Thank you Sushi Shop for making me think of nothing else than Vancouver Maki, Tofu Maki and Spring Rolls. Much better than being an empty shell. Well, at least I made cash. I bought new jeans and a rad green tank top that has a cute face sketched on it. And idiot me only found my H&M gift card after I bought and wore the clothes. Meh, I'll just go back.
Fuck him. I don't care anymore. I don't care about anything.

I don't plan to chase after anyone this summer.

Current Music: His Girl Friday - The Academy Is...

May 1st, 2009

05:20 pm: calltextmessagemailanythingplease...
... I wanna go. With you. D;

April 23rd, 2009

09:37 pm: We made a lot of friends and even more enemies;
 I GOT THE SUSHI SHOP JOB. I seriously wanted to hug the lady when she gave me my tank-tee, cap and apron. She asked me what I wanted to be, and of course I said roller, because how could I pass on learning how to make sushi? Give that up for customers? Never! I will have to learn cash eventually, but yeah. I chose sushi roller. (: I start Saturday at 9:30am!

Uhm, apart from a soon-to-be STEADY CASH FLOW coming in, my PDHT dilemma might not be a lost cause after all. Not that anyone really seems to care; but really, if I come down to it, I don't wanna "go back", nor do I want another year with 17 year olds. ): I'll be turning 19, dammit. I will most probably be able to continue on with my second year fall classes, while adding on the prerequesite first year fall classes I didn't take.

Mum bought me scented cherries to put in the Mazda. Yeah, I call her Madeleine, sometimes, because she's just cool and human like that. Madeleine was happy that I've been taking her out lately. Even her gas level is being favorable with me. Heh. We love each other.

I took a walk with Shawn today; it was odd, but it felt good. Kind of like putting old slippers: you don't know if they'll hold, but they're so damn comfy. They scare you - they might string off at any given moment - yet you still walk in them. I wish things weren't so complicated. It's funny, because he's so into acoustic and I've been on Placebo lately. Too much acoustic I've been listening to. Things are odd between us, but I think it's safe to say we both kinda missed the other. 
It is a "I can't live with or without you" situation.

Current Music: Post Blue - Placebo

April 20th, 2009

10:08 pm: Saw Velvet Goldmine this weekend:
 In love with it, basically. 
It was funny, because Shane knows nothing about glam rock (still he owned the movie, but had never watched it). And every time (most of the movie, actually) there was some sort of reference, I'd just jump and yell: "THAT!" and so on. ESPECIALLY the main character, Brian Slade. Bowie much? Haha. When he gets shot... well, I LOVE that get-up. And the whole Angie story, and Ava Cherry, and Iggy Pop, and Mick Jagger (in bed naked, ring a bell?) and so on. It was also sickeningly cute to see Christian Bale as some made-up fan boy. I mean... aww. Cannot BELIEVE I went along without seeing this movie.

Today was awesome for these reasons:
1) My Photoshop class got cancelled, and I had fun with several experiences involving caffeine, some weed and guys in my program, one of them I kinda really really like;
2) Okay, so the caffeine part was pretty darn cool, worth a point in itself: custom double espresso shot strawberry smoothie;
3) Tax return cheque came in! Total: $674! O yeah!
4) Guy from the Sushi Shop emailed me to meet up for an interview, I'd love to work there!
5) Believe it or not, I got a letter from Abbott saying I'm on the *dundundun* Honour Roll for Academic Achievement. How did this happen? Cool nonetheless.

Basically that's it. Plus I'm listening to Bowie right now (the first cd I played back-to-back in my new car, heh heh). I think I might still be slightly hyper. But I do know this: I'm going to bed early tonight. Now, actually. Signing off.

Current Mood: HYPER
Current Music: Hang On To Yourself - David Bowie

April 17th, 2009

09:53 pm: I ate too much chocolate...
 ...so I'm sealing it and putting it away.

Proud though, managed to run 30 minutes despite overblown stomach full of chocolate. Now I feel... full, but good. Better, anyways.

My car is great. I can go anywhere now! :'D It's just so much easier to drive than Mum's Echo. It's smoother. And aside from getting in or out, I prefer being closer to the ground. It makes me feel slightly more in control. 

The guys are all at the Lamb of God concert tonight. Hope they don't turn up dead. Or worse, SUPER DEAD. Yeah, okay, apologies. Chocolate. Running. I'm slightly hyper. This morning I had a custom-made strawberry smoothie with two shots of espresso added to it, and I think I dare say it was the best frozen drink I've ever had. Yes, better than any frappuccino. Uh huh. Plus, it's cheaper. Well... the lady at the Boox and Beanz didn't charge me for my two extra espresso shots, so I guess with that it comes to pretty much the same price.

Well, I'm off to Shane's place now.

April 16th, 2009

10:39 pm: I officially gained weight. ):
 And officially got a car!

Presenting my not-so-brand new car, a Mazda Protégé '98! Automatic, barely ANY rust, AC and cd player, POWER STEARING *eye tear* and it's smooth, to boot. 
I drove it tonight for the first time... and I love it. :') I feel it growing on me already. Especially at the license bureau when the guy took out a brand new license plate, that plate already felt like mine. And to have it on my car, well... it's like my name's on a label, on the rear of the car.

CD PLAYER. I mean, think about it. It's a '98. I was so sure it would have a cassette player, for some reason. xD

But... Shane doesn't fit in most cars, which is totally sad, I find. I'll stop complaining about my short and stocky legs. The fact that I have to bring my seat so close if I want to reach the pedals. x______x;; At least I can sit in the thing.

My new baby:
PICTURES!Collapse )

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